The other day I was in a moment of thankfulness and remembering how when we were moving into this rent house just 7 months ago there was a question in my mind if I would be able to fully participate.   The thought of that was so foreign to me b/c I have been doing so well.  I never doubt if I'll be able to do anything.

Then there is today.  And I'm reminded anew what disability means.  Dis-ABLE to do something.
It's been building up for about a week.  But this morning I work up with both shoulders and both elbows hurting.  Sloooow moving.  But it was nothing compared to my wrist.  And I cried my first RA related tears in a long time.

Shoulders and elbows tend to be a quick healing flare for me.  But the wrist is a downward spiral to shots.  And there is so much you can NOT do with a bad wrist.  It controls your whole hand.   So then I was back to needing help pulling food out of the oven.   And using 2 hands for a job that should require one.  Not wanting it to go farther I wanted to see Maggie to hopefully avoid a shot.  Not a chance.  She was booked tight.  Since a wrist flare has never gone away on its own I'm guessing I'll be texting her again tomorrow.  Sigh.....

Why??  I'm always looking for a reason.  What has set this off all of a sudden?
I've been sick for awhile with this icky cough that most of my family has been down with for the last month.  It's getting better but it's lingering.  It's my first sickness in 2 years and I'm guessing its triggered my RA.  At least that's all I can come up with.

I am trying to focus on thankfulness.  I have tons to be grateful for and I don't want to be caught up on what I don't have.  I wonder though if this is as good as it gets.  I feel like I've plateaued and I'd like to get to the next level of wellness and mobility.  But I do remember what it used to be and I'm so thankful to be here instead of there.   My next appt is in 2 months and I wonder where I'll be by then. 

~I have very few limitations.

~I don't need help with many things.  Maneuvering something heavy with one hand is nearly impossible ....like draining a skillet or pouring a full gallon of milk.  But it's easy enough to do with 2 hands. 

~I don't think twice about driving or walking or anything that used to be a big problem.

~I still find myself smiling when I turn on my lamp with one hand or pick up my Bible, or make my bed.

~I hope I never forget and always appreciate these little things I used to take for granted.

~I can snap with my left hand.

~My wrist continues to feel better.  Maggie's non-steriod shots don't work as quickly as the steriod ones.  This is good though. 

~I am praying that I can wear my ring on my right hand soon.  I'm to the point of asking Honey if I can get it re-sized.  I really don't wanna go there but I love that ring...the first one he ever bought me.  But for now I'm so thankful to wear my wedding rings.   My right fingers are ridiculously swollen so that contines to be my biggest problem. 

A Good Appointment

I saw my rheumatologist today and I'm glad to say that we are finally in agreement! 

He said...

You're blood work looks perfect.
The swelling might continue to go down.  (I hope so!)
Keep doing what you're doing.
Come back in 9 weeks. 

YES!!

Joints? What joints?

This has never happened.  Well never as in the past year and a half since my diagnosis.  I woke up and I didn't notice how I felt. 

Like I didn't even think about it. 

I got up to make Honey's breakfast and I didn't notice my hands until I was in the middle of it! 

Usually I will immediately make 2 fists to see how close I am and how much it hurts.  Then I will manipulate different joints to see what the day will bring.  Sometimes I even do this in the middle of the night. 

So to wake up without even thinking about it makes me feel so NORMAL!! 
Praise God!

RA I hate you. 

I hate the way my hands look. 

I hate the fear that sets in.  .

I hate the tears.

I hate doubting myself.

I hate wondering what the morning will bring.

I hate dressing around my abilities to maneuver zippers or buttons.

I hate not being able to do everything I want to do.

And I especially hate the fact that my gratitude for my good health is completely overshadowed by my bad health. 

I Can Play!

I played wiffle ball with my family tonight!!

You never realize how much of your body goes into a game like that....or kickball or skating or soccer or whatever.   I am super thankful to be feeling this good. 

The particulars....
Wrist is sore when moved to the extreme. 
I can make a left handed fist in the morning.
My right hand is not great this week. 
I can jump, run, and stand on my tippy toes.
I've been walking nearly every morning, stretching, lifting, crunches, and squats


Supplements....
fish oil
Vit C, D, and E
Calcium
MSM
Milk thistle
Zinc
PB8 (probiotic)

pharmaceuticals...
Arava

So after a week or so of going back to my regular foods I was feeling much better.   And still am.

I did have an issue with my wrist that was getting pretty bad.  Maggie worked on it for me but couldn't do anything.  However, the morning after I could actually move it a little more than the night before!  Oh happy day!  So she worked on it every day after VBS until it was finally at a place where she could put a shot in.  She does not do steroids and I appreciate that. 

That all meant that I did not have to go to TX to visit my family in a brace.  My wrist is not perfect, but I would call it very good.  With time I'm thinking it'll get better.

I'm exercising a ton more.  I'm going to ask Dr. B if there is some case study I could be involved in that deals with nutraceuticals or exercise.